Writing.....

Ok....so I should be finishing up some papers for this semester.  I told myself that I could blog again when I got the papers done as some kind of way to motivate me to stay on task and push the papers out....well its been a difficult labor and I'm just going to give up - I remember when I was giving birth to Seth it got to a point where I just kept saying that I couldn't do it.  My mom and Dennis both got in my face and told me that wasn't an option....  It really pissed me off how they got in my face, who did they think they were?  They weren't the one trying to give birth....but here's the thing, it worked.  They told me I had to do it, I got pissed off, out the baby came! And you know after he was in my arms, all the effort to get him there was a distant memory.  He was worth all the effort, all the hard work.  I am hoping that when I finally push these papers out and they are graded and the semester is over, that all these pains will be a distant memory...........I could write about the meaning of life or the way the leaf fell on the ground or how the birds chirp or how to find beauty in the broken....but ask me to write about how the intersection of gender and ethnicity or national origin inform the construction or creation of visual or written artifacts from a specific historical period..........and yeah - here I am writing a blog about a bunch of non sense instead of getting this paper done.....only six more pages to go........and then I can write a real blog about how I am coping because clearly I need to be coping better as these assignments are stressing me out.  Just being real!

Life goes on....

Ok here goes.......in the past I have found that a positive way to cope through challenging times has been to write, or type....not really about anything in particular, more like a day to day or every other day account of whats been going on.  Writing was a healthy way to cope with some scary times in the past.  Most of you are familiar with the blogs I wrote detailing my fathers comeback from his stroke.

With all that has been going on in the world, I have felt my anxiety rise and just a general unwell feeling swell up within me.  There is so much uncertainty in the world and yet that's really the only thing we can count on to never change.  I have been thinking about many big picture ideas.  I see something simple like a leaf on a ground and my mind goes a mile deep.  I see things differently.  I decided maybe I could share some of those thoughts as a healthy way to cope through COVID-19.

My brain is a fascinating piece of equipment that I still haven't quite figured out.  It's a tool that didn't really come with a users manual. Some parts don't really seem to work as well as others do. At times I am reminded that such a powerful piece of equipment can hurt you badly if you don't take care of it. Other times I sit back in awe of what this piece of equipment can do, how it can master equations, balance a schedule, remember birthdays and anniversaries, check in on people and sometimes provide some measure of comfort through the words that most times are jumbled up inside.

About a week and a half ago I walked down to my moms house to say hi.  We all stayed outside.  We maintained our space.  The boys played in the front yard.  The tree that I put them in every year to take their picture is now one they can easily get into and out of on their own.  Mom pointed out some butterfly eggs, some just hatched caterpillars, gave the boys a lesson on aphids and even found a chrysalis. As we headed home we grabbed some seeds as they were starting to disperse from the milkweed plant. We had been rinsing out the milk cartons from the boys lunches and we found some potting soil in the garage.  We decided to plant the seeds in the boxes and see what happened.

Over the week we carried on with our daily walks.  We saw flowers blooming.  We spotted a momma duck and her ducklings near a lake as we walked the dogs.  Everyday we checked the small boxes to see if anything had sprouted. I can't tell you how excited my boys were when we walked outside one morning to find that our seeds were growing....a new plant was emerging, and not just one but 8!  I thought about this and one idea really seemed to tug at my heart.  In the midst of this pandemic, and the news reports and statistics measuring the amount of loss in our world, have we developed some kind of tunnel vision, so consumed by the darkness and death that we fail to see life?  Do we stop to recognize and appreciate new life?  The joys of spring?  Warmer weather?  Ducklings? Caterpillars? Flowers? Birds chirping at dawn?  A sunrise? All these things continue despite this pandemic.

The recap for my boys went something like this - pandemics suck...but always remember that we can grow during these times too.  We don't have to be stunted by the mass media.  We can choose how much we let in, just like we water the plants and make sure they receive the sunlight needed to be healthy....so we can learn what we need to be healthy during these times and we can grow too.  Something good can come from the times we feel scared or uncertain or worried.  When it feels like you hear about a lot of people dying, remember that there are also many places we can see where life goes on and even new life is coming forth. I told them to never lose that expectation that something good is coming....how we checked on those seeds every day with the hope that one day they would sprout.  So we too must greet everyday with the hope that it will be better than the last and look for new things around us that are growing or stop and reflect on how we are growing through these times.

Something good can come from the darkness we are walking through, stop to look around and see what is growing...

"Do not remember past events, pay no attention to things of old. Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."  Isaiah 43:18-19

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."  Philippians 4:4-8

  

Until next time, keep believing in miracles and pray for God's mighty hand of healing to take place where it is needed.